A note to spammers

Thank you for sending me such wonderful emails and for making me very popular, however I would like to correct you on a few things.

1. When you address the email dear Heather, why do you think I might need Viagra, unless you think I might be a transvestite, which of course could be the case, however, I would still be dressing like a woman and usually transvestites wear dresses or skirts and they are not going to want a boner for several hours, as it spoils the look of the outfit.
2. I would really love a Rolex watch, especially for the price you're offering them at however, I really don't want to get finger paint or play doh on it. So if you could stop sending me such tempting offers right now that would be great. I know by purchasing said item on my credit card will probably help the economic crisis but really I am not sure - unless Sarah Palin wears one and then I definitely want one.
   
3. Mr Owwwoudu from South Africa - hhhmmm! Let me ponder on your so generous offer of starting a business with you, but as you may be aware I already have a small business and although I would love to send you my bank account details, I am not sure whether you speak the same language judging by your email, and I would hate to have the numbers lost in translation.
4. Ivana from Poland, thank you for contacting me regarding sexual favors but quite frankly my husband is all I need right now, I will however keep you in mind for the future.